How to "enjoy your kids"

"Enjoy your kids now. They grow up so fast."

Every time someone says those words to me, I usually have one of three mental reactions, depending on my emotional/spiritual state at the time (and whether or not I've gotten "pee pee'd" on yet that day):

(1) nod and say, "Wow, you're right. Thanks for the reminder."

(2) cock my head to the side and say, "And how exactly would you recommend that I do that?"

(3) hand my son off to them and say, "Here, YOU enjoy him for an hour. I'm going shopping."

I'm joking (about #3... sort of...), but Humor is good friends with Honesty, right? In other words, I'm laughing, but I mean it. How am I supposed to enjoy my child's childhood if I can't get past the dirty dishes, diapers, tantrums, un-plannable schedules, constant loads of laundry, lost sleep, crabbiness, etc. etc. etc. etc. etc.?

Sometimes, your kids get to you. (And I only have one. Oh brother. Moms and dads of two kids or more are rolling their eyes right about now...)

I'm twenty-six years old. I like skinny jeans, and stilettos, and vanilla lattes, and practicing the guitar, and salsa dancing, and staying up past 10 p.m. to finish the delicious book I picked up the other day. But I've also got a toddler, and so my likes and preferences are sometimes necessarily postponed, or adjusted, to fit the needs of my family. It's how it is (and yep, it is good)... but it's also hard to enjoy it. I'm good at faking it ("Ohhh, YES, Charlie and I just frolicked the day away. We are awesome, La La La!!!"), but not always so good at meaning it.

And so, just in case anyone else ever feels remotely the way I do, I've been working on a list of ways to really enjoy my baby boy. Granted, he's a 1-year-old, so this list will obviously look different for someone who has an infant, or a 3-year-old, or a 13-year-old. But, for what it's worth, here's what I've got:

*Have a tickle-fest when he's cranky. (Does this work with any other kids? Charlie's got such a one-track-mind that he can go from "MOMMY = DISLIKE" to "MOMMY = TICKLE = GOOD!!!!" in three seconds flat.)

*When you're in the middle of something, and he's whining and pulling on your pants, get down on the floor and play with him for ten minutes. Often, just sitting down and getting at his eye level gives him the attention he needs. (Sometimes, if I'm cooking or stirring things in a bowl, I'll get my stuff and put it on the floor, and let him help me.)

*Make a rockin' "to-do with my little guy" list, and pick something once a week. (Make Paper Airplanes. Take a Train Ride. Go to Starbucks, Buy Coffee For Me and Milk for Him. Go To an Art Museum and See How Long We Last Before We Get Kicked Out.) I try to tell myself, "Geez louise, woman, it's a gift to stay at home with your kids. Start acting like it."

*Go to a toy store and run around, pushing all the obnoxious toy buttons. (Charlie hasn't yet figured out that it's possible to actually take toys home with you. We'll see how long that lasts...)

*Keep a journal of all the funny things he does and says. (I'm terrible at writing in it, but I love looking back and seeing how much I've already forgotten about. Like when we got tired of him grunting in the car whenever he didn't like the song that was on, so we taught him how to say "Please," and now, all we hear in the car is, "Please. Please. Please. Please. PLEASE. PLEASE. PLEEEEEEEEEEEASE.")

*Make a baby box. Put his first shoes, his first haircut (is it weird that I kept his hair? oh dear.), his first whatever, inside and then ooooh and aaaah about how big he's getting.

*List the ways you've changed for the better since you've had kids.

*Go to the park. Play until he's ready to leave.

*Give him rides down the hallway in the laundry basket. (If you have wood floors, put a towel underneath, or else you'll scratch your floors. Ooops.)

*Pick a random, everyday-day, and take a picture every hour, from the moment you wake up until the moment you go to sleep. Print the pictures out, stick them in an album, and write little captions. (You'll probably treasure this in the years to come -- or at least, your kids will. I'd love to have something like this from my mom, when I was a baby.)

There's so much more, but that should get me (and you) started. I'd love to hear your ideas, too -- how do you spend time enjoying your kids? How do you savor the moments you have with them, instead of just barreling through your steroid-pumped to-do list like a crazy person, running around with baby under one arm and laundry basket under the other? (Or, um, is that just me?)

At the end of the day, I'm learning that "enjoying Charlie" means putting his best interests first, ahead of my own. It's hard, and tiring, and Marty and I still get that cock-eyed stare from people who say, "Umm, you're not convincing us that having kids is any fun."

Fun?

If you want "Fun," go ride a roller coaster. (sheesh, you people.)

If you want "unforgettable, life-changing, incredible-and-horrible-and-wonderful, all at the same time"... well then, have a baby.

(And then, enjoy it. I hear it doesn't last forever.)

:)