Friday, January 29, 2010


At the beginning of my pregnancy, when we first heard that baby G's due date was January 26th, I distinctly remember saying, "Watch. We'll have a February baby."

Ha. Ha. Ha.

So here I am, three days overdue, the epitome of a self-fulfilled prophecy. I'm like a time-bomb that someone apparently forgot to attach the timer to. A big, round mommy-bomb. But, as with all of life's difficult circumstances, there's always something to be learned. Here's my current list of things I've learned during this baby-waiting game:

1. If I ever see a pregnant woman who is overdue, I will not say the following to her:
"Gosh. I knew two people who were due after you, and they already had their babies!"
"Are you still pregnant?"
"Well golly gee, I didn't expect to see you here!"
"Tick... tock... tick... tock... any day now, right?"
Instead, I will say something pleasant, like, "Isn't this weather ridiculous?" or "Boy oh boy, did you watch that State of the Union address last night?" or even "Your hair looks nice."

2. Given my personal experience with the previous point, I've threatened more than once to stay home and not come out until Baby does, in order to avoid awkward situations where I pretend to not be upset by the well-meaning comments of people who really are only just trying to make conversation. {And really, my protruding belly is a built-in conversation starter. Can you blame them?}

3. As one friend reminded me the other day, there are many, many women who would give anything to be in my place. I need to count my blessings.

4. I don't have it very bad. Besides being generally clumsy, I'm not dealing with the running list of aches and pains that super-preggos generally seem to have. In fact, instead of looking for remedies on inducing labor... I'm looking for a cure for the common cold. {I seem to have caught a particularly nasty one--bad timing, eh?}

5. I plan my days so that I'm not sitting at home... but still, when you've got a bit of time on your hands, you tend to notice the little things--things that aren't really important, but eventually start to drive you crazy. For example, we recently painted the ceilings in our house with a purple-pink ceiling paint that turns white after it dries. {And for anyone who has painted 1,000 sq. feet of ceilings... you know what a genius invention this is. Pure, unadulterated brilliance, people.} However, the manufacturer forgot to warn that this paint was not meant for bathrooms... because whenever it gets wet, the paint reverts back to its original purple-pink state. In other words, whenever I take a shower, I'm entertained by a foggy purple haze that magically appears, streaked across the ceiling. Charming, right? I've threatened to take the ceiling by storm with a can of Behr semi-gloss Ultra White... but Marty wrenches the paint brush from my hand, reminding me that 10-month preggos shouldn't be standing on ladders. Psshh.

6. I've never heard of anyone being pregnant forever. This fact is obvious, and ridiculous, but strangely consoling.

Lord-willing, within a week or two (or three?!), I'll be popping back in to say hello with a healthy, bouncy baby boy in tow. Until then, I'm accepting visits from anyone bearing a box of tissues, vitamin C, a cup of tea... or a can of white paint and the physical ability to climb a ladder ;)


Diane P said...

Also to number one: "Oh - your due date is probably wrong. (or- you miscalculated)".

I swear - you're going to have a Superbowl baby like I predicted! Go Indiana!

Diane P said...

Wait- your sick on top of this? Oh Crud? How did that happen? I feel so bad for you.

Another thing that will probably get on your nerves - the certain squeak of new floors - Drives me crazy after awhile.

Joy said...

I'm sure that your hair looks nice right now.

Rochelle said...

Yeah you have to watch your prophesying there lady! ;)

Loved that list of yours. Quite true, I'm sure. I remember Monica's favorite saying was always #6... you really won't be pregnant forever.

By the way, knowing what you looked like day in and day out for years... you are beautiful, your hair looks great, you're ridiculously funny, and you're crazy sweet. :) Just so ya know. And I love your preggo belly. Cuz it's got your kiddo in there. You are gorgeous and your baby is going to be freakin' adorable and we are sooo excited to meet him very soon!

#5 had both Tim & I in total stitches... hilariousness at its best my dear.

See you soon, friend. Hang in there, he's coming soon one way or another. :) And you will do awesome!