Wednesday, July 1, 2009

A Much-Needed Update (or, Adventures in Home Ownership, Installment #1)

After much deliberation, debate, haggling, hassles, a few tears, lots of headaches, and earnest prayers ("God, if this isn't the house for us, just burn it down or something?"),
we are, for better or for worse, homeowners.

A side note to my apartment-dwelling readers:
this post isn't intended to make you feel bad about your current situation.
In fact, you'll probably be happier than ever about your living quarters,
once you hear a few of our stories.


Story #1
Marty and I are walking around our new house.
I am wearing a respirator.
{I am not kidding. It's a full-blown, commercial grade gas mask.}
We're in the master bedroom, about to go downstairs and clean out cabinets,
when Marty decides to start pounding on the walls.
{At this point, I think he's crazy.
I soon learn that he is not.}
He says shhhhhh
pounds some more
and we listen to the sound of scratching, clawing, pattering feet
behind the wall.
Behind the wall.
In my bedroom-to-be.

More pounding from Marty; more clawing and hissing from animals behind the drywall.
I hear them scampering everywhere inside the walls.
An hour later, Marty, his dad, and brother are setting up a "humane" trap on the roof,
right outside the gaping hole on the roof that we never noticed before.
They bait the trap with a hot dog...

Needless to say, our hands are full right now.
My little sister is getting married in two weeks,
and we just bought a raccoon-infested house that smells.
Don't get me wrong; I'm ridiculously excited about the house.
But we have a sort of love-hate relationship going right now.
And I think it's therapeutic to share these stories with you all.

Pictures to follow soon,
once I learn how to shoot with a respirator strapped to my head.


CZ said...

Congratulations, homeowners.

Monica Gee said...

I hear ya - sister! You guys are even more adventurous than us! :-) Best wishes!

georgia b. said...

oh, congratulations!

happy home owning!

Rochelle said...

ohhhh i want a pic of you in that respirator thing. good bribe stuff. :) hee hee hee. your home improvement stories make me want to laugh, cry, and shriek. ughhh raccoons. booooo. seriously hope it gets better soon, in the meantime, keep the stories coming so then at least we know what to tell the people in the looney bin later as to why you ended up there. ;)

seriously though, you know we wish you all the best!